we write to patch things up

my dear track_five friends

for those of u that hve been with me for a long time, u know that i have never been one to stick with a journal. usually they are ended after about 4 months. track_five made it about 9. and thats awesome.

but the time has come

i am not putting my new journal name in this entry.

if u want it, leave a comment and i will IM u with it.

i am only adding people who leave a comment

later kids

and thanx!

i am one of the most impatient people i have ever known. when i want to know something, i have to know it then. and when i feel something i have to act on it right then. and thats one of the reasons i keep ending up here. here being that awesome friend. or i like that think thats one of the reasons. cause then it means that one of the reasons isnt because i have gained like, 10 pounds since i got to college. or something else. its obviously not my personality because here i am, that "awesome friend" and u dont get that status unless u are cool. haha god am i kidding myself?

i just did something i havent done in a VERYYYYYY long time. i called bill. haha but its okay cause it went straight to voicemail and that is a good thing. i suppose its just cause he is where i am end running a lot in my moments of weakness. when i am feeling the worse about myself. or just when something goes wrong.

i am looking at the cork board that is behind my desk. at all the faces of the people that i love, and that love me. k now i am looking at the picture of my family from last summer at eileen's grad party. i can't wait to go home. i am going this weekend. i will prob leave thursday after work. i never go to journalism on friday's anywayz. the sooner the better. be in my bed with my own thoughts.

errr stupid tears. stupid stupid stupid tears. go away.

okay wow so tomorrow i am covering someone's shift at work, tomrrow night. and they are covering my shift tuesday when i go to NFG. why did i not even realize i have a class tomorrow. i am supposed 2 b at work at 3. and my class starts at three. wow. i have been having a lot of those moments lately. shit.

anywayz.

at least now i know that i am just an awesome friend and i can keep going?

weird thing is, i dont think this is gonna be one of those crushes where i just move on to the next guy. this was one of those crushes that was beyond physical and like, the fact that he gives me attention. i have only had one other real crush like that this year. and that one hurt too.

yay.

i changed my away message about 5 times tonight before i just got offline cause nothing was working.

a second passes by and i regret it
words just aren't right
sometimes i just can't explain
all the ways you devastate me
always on my mind

that was a good one. straylight run is so good. thursday....o man.... <3 i might been to take a loan out from my mom for a shirt. how said is that.

pitiful. i know.

i am done with this entry. and this day. i am sleeping. and tomorrow failing a journalism exam.

because i studied for about 5 minutes. literally. its hard cause now that i know i dont need that class i just want to give it up haha. but i need those credits. so i just wanna pass and get my credits and move on...

later

i just told the guy i like that i like him. i am about to click his IM and see what he has to say about it. i am scared.

here goes nothin.

yup, i am that awesome friend again


i am tired of being the awesome friend.


god i am tired of it.

i officially give up

i lived in a like box last night or something. i went to bed at a little after 12. and i wake up to find out basically the whole campus wastear gased for basically nothing but school spirit?

wow

what fuck heads. i hope the police get something for this. but i know they wont.

but i slept so good. except for matt calling me at some ungodly hour. i dont really remember what was said though, i was mid sleep

edit
SuperColleeeen (12:41:32 PM): what did ya call me for last night?
SuperColleeeen (12:41:36 PM): cause i see that i talked to u
matt (12:41:39 PM): haha
SuperColleeeen (12:41:40 PM): but i dont remmeber what was said haha
Matt (12:41:45 PM): i wanted to come and chill
Matt (12:41:50 PM): but you were already in bed


that kid is awesome, i <3 the boys on my floor!

poor danielle had to work all night, she is still asleep. i hope it wasnt too bad.

this entry is pointless?

i have a journalism exam tomorrow. so thats what i am doing today.

um i want to talk about these feelings that are in me. but i can't. since my journal isnt friends only anymore (i figure i dont have anything to say about bill anymore so whats the point of it being friends only) i cant say who it is that i have these feelings for.

but here is one thing i will say

you dont do it on purpose but u make me shake
gonna count the hours til u wake
with ur babies breath, breathe symphonies
come on sweet catastrophe

i connect on so many levels with this person. from music, to the way we see things, to what we enjoy. so many levels. and so many of u are like "o man, colleen's got another stupid crush. what is this, her 50th this year?"

actually lets see how many this is haha
ryan
korey
alex (not down the hall)
donny
mike
the person i like now

see i can say all those names because they all know that i used to like them. this person doesnt know and i want to keep it that way cause it makes it a lot easier.

im done with this horribly vague entry cause its pissing me off cause i cant say what i want.

i am just proud that we got that far.

:-D

Hi.

I'm really tired, my head is pounding like a freaking drum. I'm so tired that I can't type my own journal entry, how pathetic is that, seeing as that live journal is my one true love. Well, livejournal and food.... mostly jimmy johns.

I don't really know why I'm updating, i jsut felt the need to, plus it's kinda cool i have someone typing for me.

Why is Nick Lachey so hot? Right now Newlyweds is on, i will miss that show starting next wednesday.

Why did people in the 80s think it was cool to have bleached blonde nasty stringy hair? And why does VH1 feel the need to remind us of our horrid past? I remember when I had cable for a year in middle cool, and VH1 actually used to be quality. But now, I feel when I watch it, I feel like I'm watching Access Hollywood.

My head still hurts. I feel like this entry should be over.

So now it is

Later <3

i would like to make an annoucement

colleen's latest list of fave bands/musicians.

IN ORDER

countdown the top five colleen...
5. Straylight Run
4. Matchbook Romance
3. Alkaline Trio
2. The Killers
1. Brand New


u love it

so i havent actually wrote much about last night. well we got our alcohol via andre, which was awesome of him. he also gave me a super funny get well card that had a bandaid in it haha. it was cute. i drank while showering because we were in a slight hurry. note to self, vodka an ddiet docter pepper NOT GOOD. but we didnt have anything else so haha. so we got dressed and stuff. i eventually went and got some oj for my absolut and i needed something better haha. so we got a cab there and stood outside in line FOREVER. and then shawn couldnt get in cause she only brought her msu id. but eventually they let her in and then the real fun began! amir did awesome!!! we had been trying to meet up with ryan (amirs roomie) all night and we finally met up after amir's show. we also found amir's other friends. we danced and had a good time. i rocked out to limp bizkit hahahahaha. and danced to the killers and just, it seriously was awesome. so so so amazing. amir did so good i cant express that enough. getting a ride back from the club was hard. we eventually got in the shuttle, aka a silver mini van, that ended up having SEVENTEEN people in it. me and shawn were on one seat and danielle on our lap haha. people were packed in like sardines. but we got home safe and sound. at one point i had called brent and he called me back and i told him he should come over and he actually did, which i wasnt expecting haha. so there was chilling and what not. eventually it ended up me shawn danielle matt and keith in our room. phil joined us at some point. it was fun. matt met my teddy bear joey and thought he was prob the coolest bear ever haha

i loved last night

<3

thanx to everyone who made it happen

last night....
(  i didnt wanna cut these pics but i did it for my friends page )

tonight was awesome.

ryan gave me a kiss on the cheek

ryan and i also danced to mr brightside by the killers at the show

brent came to visit me

i sat on alexs lap

tonight was boy filled

i loved it


goodnigh!

amir was hot as a girl

im tired

i skipped class
on the way there amir said he was coming to wonders.
i went to sit with him and ryan at dinner.
then we chilled here for a bit
ryan is going to amir's show too.
andre is goin to buy for us <3
me=trashed tomorrow night.
and shawn will be trashed too so everyone will have fun.
but i have to pace myself so shawn gets drunk before me cause then my drunkenness wont hold her back
i think tomorrow night will be fun
i will wear my black skirt that i never wore in Florida.
i work for a long time though tomorrow. so that will suck
me and shawn went roller blading.
we went over to hubbard/akers and around them and back down wilson
it was awesome

goodbye

PS

there are still tickets to the NFG show on tuesday april 5th available....doesnt someone wanna go with me?

at work the oven that tto cooks their pizza in attacked me. i was standing at the grill, and betty opened the oven and the door went flying into my arm. i dont have a pic of the actual burn at the moment but when i change the bandage i will be sure to get you one.

so after work matt was awesome and drove me to the docs. and to meijer to get my script filled

i have homework

goodnight

i thought i had lost all my pictures.

thats right. my over 3000 pictures from my freshman year of college


but

they were found

i was in tears

it was terrifying

i am glad its all okay!!!!!!

somehow the folder got moved...and i freaked out before i thought to just search for the folder

that was scary haha

im happy right now.

its beautiful outside

no more drama

i love my friends, even if i only have three.

they rock my world

the sun feels awesome

soon i will do a little homework before work at 4

supposed to eat lunch at like, 1 ish with shawn

i dunno if i can wait haha, i only had a yogurt and a diet docter pepper for breakfast

*sigh*

i like being content. i still need a sub for next tuesday at work...yikes :-\ it might be my first time not going to work cause thats the night of the new found glory concert. i so dont want to go alone... :(

o well

later!

okay so i actually manage to not obsess about livejournal for one evening and i miss a post that i prob shouldnt have missed

damnit andre, its cause i was havin 2 much fun talking to you! :-D

anywayz

um so people are writing posts talking about priorities and what have you. and i feel like a loser cause i dont know what my prioities are. i want to say right now school is first. cause thats what it needs to be. but honestly there is still a huge part of me that isnt here. i mean i am here with the people and the environment but i am not here with the school work and the reading. i am not motivated. but i am workin on it! its fun cause now i know what i wanna be, kinda, when i grow up, so i have something to shoot for so thats awesome

i feel a tad distant from my amir right now cause i didnt talk to him all weekend and i havent seen him in a week. but he should be coming over for dinner tonight so whoo hoo

i have a lot to do tonight.

damnit this was supposed to be a deep meaningful post.

how about this for deep and meaningful. i miss my family haha


i cant wait to go home and wake up in my bed every morning, even if it is at 6am, and go to work with my mommy and have lunches with my amir, since i will be working 5 minutes from his house, and make money and get out of debt, and just be in the D, sitting on my porch in the evening on the phoner and just things of that nature cause thats where it feels right

HOWEVER

i am gonna be at least a 1/2 hour from my 2 best friends. amir = 30 min away. shawn = 45ish

and that makes me super scared. cause even though i love my family, my friends are like an extended version of the fam

but we wil see how it goes

plus once pam and eileen are home i will have them too

pam is gonna be my running buddy over the summer so i can keep on goin

i feel like lately things are going through changes. and i find myself not putting effort into things when i feel i dont get anything from them. and i dont know if that is good or bad. i think its bad. but its hard to change.

um

thats all.

i made the mistake of opening my memory book.

i miss highschool. i dont miss the people or anything. here is whats sad about what i miss

i miss my body hahahahahhaa


i used to think i was huge in high school

looking back its like i really wasnt.

but i am working on gettin back down there.

went running again with shawn tonight.

it feels good to run. its hard but it feels good.

cause i know i am working towards something.

one thing pam taught me this weekend, you gotta have a goal in mind.

and i have that.

so i am workin on it